Thursday, 27 April 2017

THE TRUTH.

Truthful.

Being truthful. Open. Honest.

Honestly, medicine has made me hate learning. I used to love learning, teaching and even more so, revision. I used to love finally grasping concepts and finally putting them into action.

I feel like I'm lost. I feel like I'm in a position that I can't break out of.

I've picked the wrong university to do my dream course and that is something I will always regret.

I've forgotten why I chose medicine. I've forgotten the passion I had for the subject, the meaning and the life. I've forgotten the love and the reason and without that I'm nothing.

I feel like I'm a broken shell of a person being dragged out with the tide in the storm of a century about to descend the deep abyss. Okay maybe that's a little too much but I feel very alone.

I have everyone around but not the people I want. Because the people I want, want nothing to do with me. The people I want don't seem to care.

I've come to accept that after these exams I will honestly, hand on heart, be happy where I am.

If I pass I will be excited for next year. Next year will be my year to do something that I love and I will rock it. I will be learning all about a topic that sparked my dream to be a doctor when I was six years old and then I'll be in clinicals. I'll be finally enjoying all the hard earned opportunities.

If I fail, I will accept it. Whether I have the opportunity or not, I will not resist the year. Right now all i can picture in my head is feeling absolute and total relief. I'm not sure my life is worth this much stress. I'll be able to be a nanny or a childcare assistant and maybe finally own a nursery of my own. I'll have so much more free time. Perhaps start a dating life and in the future, I'll be able to actually spend time with my children and babies and see them grow up and spend time with them without sacrificing and spreading myself too thin.

Perhaps I'll be happy. Perhaps it'll work out.

So for whatever happen, I'll be okay. I'm ready to accept the things I cannot change without killing myself in the process.

The NHS is not the place I once thought it was. It's not the sanctuary and save haven I dreamed of working in. It's not the life I wanted.

So to the longest three years of my life, goodbye. Good riddance. Farewell. Bon voyage.

To anyone else about to begin this journey, be ready for the toughest couple - hopefully - of years of your life but most of all, try to enjoy yourself and good luck!

Ps. I am so sorry if any of you really are about to start Medicine and UCL. I'm sure you will rock it like every single one of my friends. Obviously, it's much harder than I ever anticipated and I didn't realise what I was signing up for before I spent three years struggling through, wadding thigh deep in water.

Wednesday, 26 April 2017

Finding Your Perfect Dog?! 🐶

Have you ever thought about getting a dog? Have you got a dog?

I was recently inspired by Puppy Spot to write a post for National Puppy Day and while that was last month, here in England, we don't celebrate it so I thought it would still be a perfect to write about, even later. 

Their opening statement is: 
"We are a community of dog lovers, committed to connecting the nation's top breeders to caring, responsible individuals and families. We hold ourselves and our clients to the highest standards and aim to improve the life of each puppy, breeder and owner who joins our family."

I think there are so many different types of dogs with different breed's which suit different families, owners and people's personalities. It's so important to pick the right dog for you so here is a little flowchart diagram. 

So if you're thinking about getting a dog, use the flowchart to see what suits you and your dog the most or even just for fun! This flowchart links different personality traits in people, to their most compatible breeds! Of course, all puppies are adorable, but it’s important to make sure your lifestyle fits your dog’s specific breed. 
I am a massive dog lover! I have 2 black labradors and I absolutely love them both. Holly and Tilly are the best dogs and I wouldn't feel like my life would be complete without a dog at home.
Which dog did you get?

I got 'The Easy Going Playmate'. Growing up with a Golden Retriever - Jim - was amazing, so I defintely will think about getting another when I have children of my own. He was such a perfect dog with a small and growing family.

Monday, 24 April 2017

Battersea Park Children's Zoo! 🐒

A couple weeks ago - I'm a little ahead of myself with videos so they're being posted a little outdated to stay in syn! - I volunteered with Spectrum and my partner and I took our child to Battersea Park and visited the Children's Zoo there!

Click here for the vlog or see below.

It was so fun!

Thoroughly recommend this for anyone. I had lots of fun and if we'd gone a little earlier, we could have seen a lot more of the feedings which was good. Honestly, even though it was small, I still think it was really nice and you could easily spend much more time there because there was so much to do. You can eat, play in the sand, the playgrounds and fire engines. There was so different animals and every half an hour there was a new feeding station which was really interesting and interactive.

Click through for pictures.








 We took the scenic route home which was so niece. We walked down the Thames, crossed over Albert Bridge and then saw the Queen's gold boat going underneath. London is so pretty when the sun's out!


 Of course, walking past Lola's Cupcakes I picked up a couple of sweet treats. How cute are these Easter cupcakes <3

Wednesday, 19 April 2017

John Frieda Frizz Ease Collection (Review) 💇

I am a strong believer in changing up your shampoo and conditioner every so often so while I don't have the income or storage space to leave products half used, when I have finished using them, I never buy the same product brand again. I think your hair gets used to the product so the benefits you originally bought the product for fade away. 

I love Tresemme and Herbal Essences, I've also been a fan of L'oreal and Pantene but my favourite is Kerastase. Unfortunately, that is extremely expensive so I've never bought it myself, instead I just steal my mum's when I'm home! 

I've had a lot of static hair recently so this time round I decided to try the new collection by John Frieda. The Frizz Ease Collection! I bought all my products through Birchbox as I had points to spend so I ended up getting a massive discount. 

I've now used the products for over a month so I've decided to share my thoughts on the products. 
Shampoo and Conditioner:
Contrary to beliefs, this is not a purple shampoo so it will not tone down your colour! I love these. Obviously, I'm not going to review them separately as I've only ever used them together so I wouldn't know the effect of one. They smell divine and I actually think my hair feels really clean afterwards. I really like that the Conditioner is quite moisturising so I feel like I'm nourishing my hair. Only negative I have is that the Shampoo defintely stings when it goes in your eyes. Ouch! I'm not a complainer of my eye stinging usually but it was defintely noticeable for a good few minutes so be careful when using it.
 Anti-Frizz Primer:
I have never ever used a primer on my hair before but I thought since I was buying a lot of the range I would buy this too. I was a little shocked when I first pumped it because I thought it was going to be like a mouse-foam product but instead it's more of a light cream. Admittedly, it does make my hair a little greasier than usual but I'm still only washing it 2 to 3 times a day which works for me.
When I first used it, I thought that no way was one pump going to cover all my hair so I ended up doing 3! I was wrong. My hair is super thick and relatively long, although personally I would call it midlength. Even still, only do one pump! The extra pumps go in fine but on drying the hair, it leaves it tacky and with a sticky residue which is not the greatest feeling but you can't tell by looks. If your hair is quite thin, I would even recommend half a pump. A little goes a long way which is actually great because it means the product will last a long time.
One of my favourite things is the lock mechanism. I keep all my hair products in a basket on the top of my wardrobe so I wasnt to make sure nothing can spill. Cleverly, the pump twists 90 degrees to lock the pump and then reverse to allow pumping.
Deep Conditioner:
I've been looking for a deep conditioner or hair mask for years and I am so happy that I've found one that I actually like and is reasonably priced. I did have to wait on a waiting list for this for a few weeks so it's defintely popular but it's obvious why. 
The tub is massive and you hardly use any product each time. I like to use this once a week for that extra deep moisturising effect and I love it. I love that you don't have to leave it on for ages because 5 minutes gives you time to do other things: shave, wash your body, contemplate life. 
I have a dry scalp sometimes so I was hoping this would just help add a little moisture and while it didn't do all that much for that purpose (any hair mask recommendations?), it left my hair feeling so soft and it feels like it does when hairdressers wash it. 
Overall, I'm really pleased with the products. I'm glad I made the little splurge to buy the full set because I do feel like the products complement each other well. It defintely reduced the static from midshaft down. I can now play with my hair without getting all the fly away and it sticking to my first. It straightens and dries so much more naturally which I love because it doesn't need much doing to it. The only things it doesn't help with is all my fly away baby hairs on my roots. It didn't say that it would but I was secretly hoping.

A quick note I would mention is that this isn't necessarily a quick fix, although I did notice a massive difference on first wash. It says that they work by 'building frizz immunity' and it defintely get's smoother each wash.

Thoroughly recommended!

Monday, 17 April 2017

Olly Murs @ The O2! 🎶

Click here to see the video or watch below.
I was so excited to see Olly Murs in concert at The O2 arena on Friday 31st March! I have wanted to see him for ages, ever since he was on X-Factor, and he was defintely on my concert bucket list but the night was defintely filled with surprises!

Walking through the underground station, this fun little message was amazing. How friggin' cute!
As always, I went through Sky Backstage. If I'm going to The O2, I always purchase the Sky Backstage tickets in advance because it saves so much time in terms of queuing to get in and security. I also love that they sometimes have some extra activities on top of the private bar upstairs. They had Superman vs Batman and a virtual reality experience. I totally would have tried the goggles on but there was a massive queue so I decided to skip it.
I actually specifically went to late because I was so disappointed with the opening act. It was a DJ and I just wasn't impressed, even with the last 15 minutes I caught. Nevertheless, Olly Murs came! 

I loved the opening sequence with the 24 hours countdown clock (obviously sped up), which you can catch in the concert vlog. Unfortunately, some people were really rude and came super late stopping to stand in front of me so despite waiting and waiting with my camera out, I totally missed the amazing moment when he appeared. 
I really liked the simplistic nature of the set with a full band casually playing in suits in the background. I liked how they could sink down and come back when needed. I thought the suits made it seem really formal but as I anticipated, they each did a little solo towards the end of the concert.
Instead of Demi Lovato - I was still hoping - Olly had 2 female backing singers take her role and while they were good, they defintely weren't flawless. They had a lot of mistakes and were very out of tune in parts. I did however like the interaction they had with Olly and it made the whole show more real.
Despite the very samey-y and repetitive nature of the set, some of the songs were played in acoustic which I actually really liked. I especially loved the sit down song with the guitarist and Olly on the edge of the stage. I thought it made the experience much more intimate.

My favourite part when Olly and his 4 backing singers (2 male and 2 female), came down to the front stage. They only came down once which to be honest felt like a bit of a waste seeming how much closer to the audience it made them, a much better view and more fun and involved.

The set design was continually simple with a woman and Olly pre-recorded footage played in the background of most songs. I think the song that stood out the most for me was Heart Attack. I loved the bright colours and the fact the words heartbeat-ed on the screens.
I think the part I was most shocked about was how rude Olly was. Not rude in a mean way but in a slightly vulgar way. I knew he was a bit naughty and liked the have fun but his in between talk and dance moves were very repetitive and dirty. Sex, grinding, feeling himself up.. I don't know if it's because I was sat next to a 6 year old (I didn't take her, but once again why? I wrote a whole post on the topic but seriously, she wore headphones the entire time and didn't once stand up, but complained on the volume) so I was more aware but...

Either way, it was still fun and very entertaining, just a little too much for me personally.
Without a doubt, this was the most picture perfect picture ever! I love the darkness of it and the crystal clear pose. Totally Olly!
One surprising moment was when he went out into the audience. I can't quite remember what happened but I was watching the stage and then suddenly people screamed and the spotlight was on the audience. I didn't even realise it was Olly wading through the crowd until about half way through the appearance! 
At the end, I really enjoyed the concert. I loved the songs and the flawless entertainment. It was a fun, easy going concert which gave me the much needed, welcomed and appreciated break from the world of revision I am currently immersed in.

Thursday, 13 April 2017

April's Blogger of the Month! 💗

Total bonus post for this week but I thought it was worth sharing.

This month I am Blogger's Corner 'Blogger of the Month' and that makes me so happy! How fun to be recognised for doing something that I love.

Blogger's Corner is a Facebook group I'm apart of where people ask blogging related questions and share their posts. This month, the Admin's selected me to be their blogger of the month so be sure to head over to their website and say HI from me.

If you are a blogger, they have so many great opportunities including tips and tricks and collaborations with companies. Find out more about them here.